River of dreams wash away all my thoughts of pain
Let not the hollow empty memories drive me insane
Never a moments peace that I might find rest
I wonder am I failing life's ultimate test
I can offer my thoughts my friendship my hand
So never alone will my friends have to stand
If only I knew how to let them inside of me
Maybe I would have a friend as well as the friend I be
One can't pick their family their fate or their end
So it is not lightly one should choose a friend
Give what you will and hope that they do the same
Pray that to them friendship is more than a game
Offer time and understanding then hope they can see
Beyond the illusion and find peace and harmony
Fear not that all do not feel the same as I
It is a lifetime's journey that I must try
My wish is to find special people to enrich my life
Not intrude where unwanted I offer my back to the knife
The best gifts are given so we never have to ask
And to survive without friendship a most difficult task
In friendship I search out the different, special and unique
Forgive me for I thought this to did you also seek
Your silence has told me my friendship is not needed
Your silence has told me our relationship is completed
Bear1Mage©

No rhyme of the past comes to my mind
Only memories of a stranger can I find
A person happy only with my great sadness
Giving without getting is the cause of my madness
Hiding in plain sight so none will find me out
Just what it is that I might be all about
Now broken of spirit, heart and mind
Of the old me none is there to find
Did life strike me so many a great blow
That I have been deprived of the me I did know
Have I lost my sanity not knowing what's real
Am I not lost myself not knowing what I feel
Without my yesterdays has there been a me
Or am I just a shadow in someone's memory
Bear1Mage©

She is a ghost from my past
A memory I thought would not last
But she comes again from my dreams
A relentless haunting vision she seems
Reawakening some of my oldest fears
Drawing pleasure from my remorseful tears
I wish I could live just for day
And let all the old hurts fade away
But I can not forget what has been
For even a dream can happen again
No one wants to be hurt not even me
But you're also in danger you see
Because there is a ghost inside us all
And who knows where a painful memory could fall
Bear1Mage©

I awoke in the land of all my bad dreams
Everything taken from me but my emotions it seems
I've been a rock but now a pebble I be
I gave my soul and it was used to chip away at me
Insight, strength and self-esteem were the gifts I gave
To much was the gift nothing for myself did I save
I kissed away painful memories of the past
So they could set themselves free at last
A foundation for the future we built from the ground
The castles comforts unknown to me I'll not be around
I've no more to teach my use is at its end
All the old wrongs have been righted and now mend
A price to be paid were my hours of worry
My care and concern someone else's confining fury
I took the sorrow and pain they pledged for themselves
And became trapped in the gloom myself
Blinded in shame my faults I could not see
Is it any wonder why they discarded me
Bear1Mage©

Onward turn the page of time
Leaving yesterday a useless rhyme
That I remember emotionally entwined
Madding memories I have of her
And how I can never really be sure
I cry for the times that once were
And the things that might have been
If only I could do them again
Would that be such a real sin
If minutes turn into hours
And hours turn into days
And tomorrow is today
Then why am I living yesterday
Bear1Mage©

Memories of my troubled youth haunt me even now
Forced to be an adult before I really knew how
To find who I am from all the pain of who I've been
And defeat the lies, so my identity I might win
Send me on a journey beyond the memories and pain
I fear it's only there my future might I ever gain
For I'm not stupid, ugly, unwanted or unloved
It's just from a broken home that I was shoved
Disliked in life because of the feelings of distrust I send
Used, abused and paranoid dare anyone be my friend
To easy was I to be who others wanted me to be
That I have lost myself somewhere inside of me
Now to teach myself to overcome the holes in my past
And learn to like myself so others might like me at last
Will force me to face old fears I have buried deep
And wash away the bad with the flood of tears I shall weep
Bare my soul that others might dare to do the same
And hope to spare them the loneliness and the shame
Bear1Mage©

I'm not asking you to love me
Just let me be free
So many things I can not see
Tomorrow's a nightmare that must be
Selfishly I must face it alone
Only with myself have I felt at home
An elusive traveler through life I roam
In sunshine no shadow do I cast
The time is now to remove my mask
Deceit and deception from my mystic flask
To see myself the most difficult task
To see myself I must see to be myself I must be
But how will I know that I am me
Can you help recognize and set me free
Bear1Mage©

This life won't let the dreamer have his dreams
It wakes him from the nightmare to his own screams
Fading into nonexistence the saying until death do we part
Selfish souls unwilling to give from the heart
The security of a full time life long job
In a world looking for way's to profit off the working slob
Their own home impossible not because of supply or demand
But a price to own and maintain that very few can stand
Even health cost the ill often more than they own
So death becomes an expense our children will atone
Weekly wages less than it cost a person to live
Insurance, license, taxes and more to which he must give
Alcoholic drinks, drugs and suicide all nightmarish ends
No where to turn in the same position are his friends
A blind or selfish government out for its self it seems
Is it any wonder why the dreamer screams
Bear1Mage©

Whispering winds blow gentle across her skin
As her mind recalls things that might have been
And safe from rocky shores a ship passing in the night
She sees the captain turn and toss a kiss into the light
The old lighthouse be a ship and sailors best friend
She lights the way around what could be a watery end
Its for the lady of the light he cast his kiss upon the wind
In gradated he thanked for the life and light she did lend
Some say she is but a tall tale told to make toddler's mind
Truth is hers is the saddest tale anyone might ever find
It seems her love sailed off on what was but a short trip
But he was tossed overboard in a storm as the ship did tip
So strong was her love that she denied his watery fate
Then she stood lookout evermore at the lighthouse gate
Neither food nor water did she take during her long strife
And the price she paid was her all, for it cost her life
Now ships that pass have captain and crew to bless her soul
In hopes that their loved ones never have to pay such a toll
Bear1Mage©

Bells toll in the distance for a friendship turned cold
Life's new challenges have replaced all of the old
The memories will fade till nothing will remain
When friendship is lost nothing will be the same
While the heart may still feel the pull of a forgotten call
The mind lets the reason and understanding fall
In life people come and people go with each their role
But friends leave behind a little piece of their soul
Faded and forgotten yet friendships reason lives on
To fill the void with new friends we are drawn
So shed not a tear for the friends of distance past
We all must play our role in life to the very last
Bear1Mage©

I never meant to make you cry
Was the way you said good bye
Then you turned and walked out the door
Just to prove you'd be mine never more
How I was blinded by the lust in my mind
Then conquered by the love in my heart
I guess I was Cupid's fool from the very start

Now I've lonely days and lonely nights
And missing you hasn't made it right
Still I wish you were at my side
But my love for you I could never hide
Oh how could love have hurt me this way
Is the pain the price that must be paid
I guess I was Cupid's fool in this game we played

Years have come and gone my way
Yet the memories were here to stay
After yours no love has touched my heart
You can't finish what never had a start
To my life little did you or love ever lend
But all through life I was your friend
I guess I was Cupid's fool to the very end
Bear1Mage©

She walked away from loves embrace
Thinking she could give up the chase
But in her heart the embers yet glow
And time and space caused a fire to grow
Now her future hinges on the broken past
She burns for the love of yesterdays cast
Held to heart the love that was, is now a friend
Now to him her new love she wishes to send
Fear he the bright flames she fans so hard
Burned once before will he now be on guard
On her hopes and feeling will the past be forgiven
Or has the pain and loss to deep been driven
Will she see the want and need in his face
Or will his eyes reflect silent shame and disgrace
Alone she turns to face her fate of futures past
And prays that he once again will be hers at last
Bear1Mage©