Certain events in our lives can really get us down, like having someone who you find really gorgeous and wonderful completely blow you out. There are plenty of other equally unpleasant things in life, but these I do not wish to dwell upon. Little things can get to us too. Like dropping three sweeteners into your coffee instead of two, and that stresses you out because your favourite sitcom is about to start on tv.

Or when you are out shopping, and you’re walking down to the shops, you remember that you have forgotten your shopping list, but you can not be bothered to go back because you reckon on being able to remember all the items on the list. It is ironic that our memory works in such a way that it is possible to remember the fact that we have forgotten something.

Or in an exam, when you can see the page of the text book where the fact you need is written, but you can not read that page.

Anyway, you get to the checkout, pay for your groceries, and then, and only then, as you try to push open an automatic door, remember that you wanted one of those tasty looking yoghurts where the fruity bit is in a separate compartment to the yoghurty bit. And so back it is home thinking that you will just have to make do with digestives instead.

It is common knowledge that some people in life get depressed while others do not. Some people accept that little things in life are bound to go wrong, and there is nothing they can do about it. They have a healthy outlook on life. Now other people think that it is they who are the cause of these minor fiascos.

"If people with this kind of attributional style experience a bad event, they will believe it is caused by them, that the cause is long lasting, and that the cause will make other things bad too."

Unfortunately Sarah is one of those people. Early on in life she had a bizarre but unfortunate thumb accident, the cause of which was never adequately resolved, and it had affected her attributional style ever since. That Saturday she had woken up and thought that it was high time she bought a new bucket which she had been saving up for for the last couple of weeks. So she went to town, to the kitchen appliance shop (for want of a better description which escapes me), and asked for a bright red plastic bucket.

- I’m afraid we’ve only got one left in red, and it is not pillar box red but it has a distinct tinge of orange.

Like many things in life, things are never quite as we would like, and this upset Sarah considerably.

- I’m sure that Habitat would do one in that colour, suggested the shop assistant helpfully.

- But Habitat is in Oxford, and it would be silly paying £3.60 for the bus fare for a £1.49 bucket.

Reluctantly, Sarah took the bucket and left.

Peter had woken up that morning worrying about whether or not God existed. God had revealed himself to Peter in a dream, in the form of dancing lights flying around Peter’s bedroom he had lived in when he was eight years old and living in Surbiton. The dream had been particularly vivid, but the bedroom in the dream was on the ground floor. Perhaps it had not been his bedroom? The most annoying thing was that although God could quite possibly be capable of revealing himself in a dream, the alternative explanation was that it was only a dream. It is always important to examine explanations, so that we do not jump to the wrong conclusion too hastily.

Dream interpretation books had always fascinated Peter. Now dream books propose that certain symbols, for example a snake, all have a universal meaning for everyone, which is ridiculous to start off with. And they always connect everything with sex anyway, and that is only to sell a few extra thousand copies. Peter, being a scientist (a student scientist albeit) would readily accept scientific proof of God. Here is a typical example.

Place a mug on a table and ask God to move it. If the mug has moved mysteriously on its own, with no immediately apparent physical force, then put it back to where it originally was. If not, then keep it there and ask God to move it again. This needs to be done at least three times. Now science is all based on probability. It is so unlikely that the mug would have moved on its own, that you can attribute it to God. Especially if you have repeated the exercise three times. This rules out freak parapsychological forces that happened to be there.

Although God has created a physical universe where effect follows cause, there is a little paragraph in the Bible ruling this sort of thing out as proof of God. So Peter never carried out this fascinating experiment in case God did actually exist. It would be quite annoying if God did actually exist, but you were barred from heaven simply on the grounds that you had carried out this little experiment. But at least you could die knowing that God did exist, and could give your friends advanced warning. I digress.

Peter wiped the sleep out of his eyes and looked at himself in his red Habitat mirror. This promptly reminded him that today Sarah was going to buy her red bucket, and he made a mental note to pop round and see her at lunchtime. But he also wrote it down on a little post-it note just in case he forgot. Although he could solve difficult second order differential equations, he still sometimes forgot even very simple things. He wasn’t that intelligent really.

When Peter became intimidated by brain box professors at university, all he had to do was think of them with no clothes on and that more often than not did the trick. Even though he could not help it, Peter would also think of Sarah with no clothes on. And even though they got on famously together, he wouldn't mention this to her, because he was far too embarrassed and anyway, it’s not the sort of thing you tell someone is it?

Peter went round to Sarah’s house and found her upstairs with her bucket.

- Did you go swimming? she asked.

- Yes. I was three lengths short of a mile. Not bad ay? It should have been a mile but I made a mistake working out how many lengths a mile is.

Peter had set himself that difficult but achievable goal a few months ago.

- What a fiasco. you’re not too down are you?

- Not at all, Peter replied chirpily.

- At least I know that if I was to be on a boat three quarters of a mile out to sea, and the boat were to sink, I’d be able to make it ashore, and still have enough puff in me to run to the nearest phonebox and call the lifeguard. Not everyone can swim that far you know.

- You ought to come swimming with me sometime, he suggested.

- I’d be hopeless. I wouldn’t manage a width and I’d probably only get cramp.

Such is the viscous circle or the life enhancing properties of attributional style.

Peter could not help thinking about Sarah in her swimsuit, and quickly changed the conversation.

- Can I have a go with your bucket?

- Yeah, let’s fill it up with water. Unfortunately there’s a slight tinge of orange, so maybe that will disappear when the bucket fills with water.

The two friends went in to the bathroom and Sarah placed the bucket under the cold tap. The bath was fairly new, and instead of a screw tap, there was a joystick. Peter loved this, but he never asked Sarah if he could have a bath at her house. However innocent a request might be, people will always read something into it. All Peter had to do was to communicate to Sarah the fact that the reason for this was to use the joystick tap, but he never did this. The joystick was pulled, and the two friends waited expectantly.

Unfortunately the bucket did not turn a darker shade of red. Sarah lifted the bucket out of the bath, but it shot into the air. Or rather her arm did, for the bucket was as light as a feather; there was no water in it.

Sarah looked inside the bucket but it was no where to be seen. Her heart sank.

- It’s broken, she cried.

Not only was the bucket slightly the wrong colour, but the water that had poured into it had disappeared. This was not Sarah’s day, and she felt really down, especially as she had been looking forward to this for some time.

- That is really strange, pondered Peter.

- I washed our kitchen floor the other day using Flash and hot water. When it came to putting the mop in, the water was still there. Maybe it’s the fact that the water was cold?

So the two tried the hot water. Although using cold water was one possible explanation, Peter secretly suspected that there was something suspect about the bucket. However, this gave him another rare chance to use Sarah’s joystick tap.

They waited for a few minutes and then took another look. Still no luck. There was no water in the bucket. After a short pause, Peter burst out with:

- Perhaps there’s a hole in the bucket?

- There’s a hole in my bucket, dear Liza dear Liza, they both sang, simultaneously, and without even consulting each other first.

- Oh we’re so predictable, laughed Peter. That momentarily lifted Sarah’s downcast mood, but it soon came back five minutes later, when the two had not found any satisfactory cause. Sarah threatened to plummet to even gloomier depths because she began to think about her bizarre but unfortunate thumb accident as a young child, which like the present bucket incident, had not been adequately resolved.

- You know what? Peter said. I think something has gone wrong with the space-time continuum, and the aberration is on the inside of the bucket.

- But that can’t be right surely? asked Sarah.

- Science is a faith, just like religion, Peter explained. No one can check out every corner of space, so scientists have to make assumptions, most of which are perfectly reasonable. Now it may be that the quickest way from my house to your house is a straight line, and no one would know otherwise. But for all we know, space may bend slightly, and over intergalactic distances, the quickest path is in fact a curve.

Although Peter could understand things, he was not the greatest at giving explanations, and Sarah was getting slightly lost.

- So we have disproved science?

- Not entirely. This could actually prove that God exists. But the alternative explanation is that we need to make a few alterations to our science.

- Well that’s all very well, but I’ve still got a broken bucket.

- You could always take it back. I’ll just telephone Dad to see if faults in the space-time continuum are covered by the sales of goods act.

Peter’s father was a lawyer who was exceptionally good at returning faulty goods. No one ever got the better of him and God help any sales assistant who queried his father’s quoting of the sales of goods act 1967, section 3A, paragraph II. This may or may not be the one to quote, but it does come in handy. A sales assistant is hardly going to go to a law text book and check on the accuracy or otherwise are they?

Peter’s father was not too helpful.

- Shall I tell them there is something wrong with it?

- Of course, but can you prove it? The law requires total proof.

- Well this is a scientific fault, and science can never prove anything with 100% accuracy.

- Then you are stuck with the bucket. And don’t you dare go making a hole in it and then taking it back.

Peter’s father, being a lawyer, could have had his job prospects at work severely compromised, were it to be known that his son had tried to obtain a new bucket by blatant deceit.

Sarah received the bad news, and sighed pitifully. Little things should never get to us, but who are we to judge what others perceive to be a major catastrophe? Peter was aware of this and tried to think a bit more laterally.

- Let’s fill it up on the outside! he cried.

- It’ll never work, replied Sarah, but Peter was optimistic.

He ran into the bathroom, giving himself yet another rare chance to use Sarah’s joystick tap. He released the water slowly, first using cold water, then gradually increasing the temperature.

The water trickled down the side, and began filling up on the outside of the bucket. Sarah stared in amazement. The water sparkled and gave out a glorious dazzling ruby glow. A ring of beautiful water hung around the outside of the bucket. She couldn’t believe it, shrieking and jumping around in excitement.

- No one else in the world has a bucket like you have. One which fills up on the outside.

Peter had made Sarah see a broken and disappointing bucket, as now the most treasured and unique object she ever had. The bucket was the most awe inspiring sight the two had ever seen.