Q. What the only thing worse than being married to Lorina Bobbitt?
A. Being divorced from OJ Simpson.
Q. What's the difference between OJ and Pee-Wee Herman?
A. It only took 12 jerks to get OJ off.
Q. Why can't OJ and Heidi Fliess play golf together?
A. She's a hooker and he's a slicer.
A guy dies and goes to heaven. It's a slow day for St. Peter, so, upon
passing the entrance test, St. Peter says "I'm not very busy today,
why don't you let me show you around?"
The guy thinks this is a great idea and graciously accepts the offer.
St. Peter shows him all the sights, the golf course, the reading room
and library, the observation room, the cafeteria and finally, they
come to a HUGE room full of clocks.
The guy asks, "What's up with these clocks?"
St. Peter explains, "Everyone on earth has a clock that shows how much
time he has left on earth. When a clock runs out of time, the person
dies and comes to the Gates to be judged."
The guy thinks this makes sense but notices that some of the clocks
are going faster than others. He asks why is that?
St. Peter explains, "Every time a living person tells a lie, it speeds
his clock."
This also makes sense, so the guy takes one last look around the room
before leaving and notices one clock in the center of the ceiling. On
this clock, both hands are spinning at an unbelievable rate. So he
asks, "What's the story with that clock?"
"Oh, that," St. Peter replies, "That's OJ Simpson's clock. We decided
to use it as a fan."
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