The Pope was touring Australia and took a couple of days from his
itinerary to visit the northern tropics and the outback.
Deep into his visit, his 4WD Popemobile was driving alongside a river
when he heard some splashing up ahead. As he drew close, the Pope
observed in the river, an Aboriginal man struggling frantically with a
crocodile who had grasped the poor guy in its powerful jaws.
At that moment, from around a bend in the river, a speedboat roared
into view, containing three people, Bruce Ruxton, Arthur Tunstall, and
Pauline Hanson.
As the speedboat neared the struggling figures, Pauline Hanson took
aim and fired a harpoon into the crocodile's hide. Then Ruxton and
Tunstall pulled the man from the jaws of the crocodile saving him from
certain death and using long clubs, killed the crocodile. They then
bundled the poor semi-conscious, semi-mutilated man into the
speedboat, as well as the dead croc, and approached the river bank.
The Pope was most impressed by what he had seen and went up to greet
them. He said "I give you my blessings for your brave actions. I had
heard that there were some racist xenophobic people trying to divide
Australia's community, but now I can see that your society is a truly
enlightened example of racial harmony and could serve as a model for
other nations to follow."
As the Popemobile drove off, Pauline asked the others, "Who was that?"
Ruxton answered, "That was the Pope. He has direct contact with God
and has access to all God's wisdom."
"Well, he knows fuck all about crocodile hunting. How's the bait?"
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