Hvorfor har alle svensker pa seg tresko nar de er ute?
For ikke a bite seg i taerne nar de gresser.
(Why do Swedes wear clogs?
To stop them biting their toes when grazing.)
Hvordan a fa svensker inn i andre land:
Mann smorer dem i tjaere, ruller dem i honsefjaer og smugler dem inn
som piperensere.
(How to get Swedes abroad:
Tar and feather them, then smuggle them in as pipe-cleaners.)
Pa skiltene i svenske rundkjoringer:
"Max tre runder."
(Sign on Swedish roundabouts:
"Max 3 laps.")
Hva er det som er svart og svidd og henger pa taket?
En svensk elektriker.
(What's black and charred and hangs from the ceiling?
A Swedish electrician.)
Hvorfor lukter det sa godt i Sverige om nettene?
Fordi svenskene sover med lukkede vinduer.
(Why does it smell so good at night in Sweden?
Because Swedes sleep with their windows shut.)
Skrevet pa bunnen av svenske svommebasseng:
"Rokning forbjudes."
(Written at the battom of Swedish swimming pools:
"No smoking.")
Hvordan far mann en svenskes hjerne til a ligne pa en ert?
Blaser den opp og maler den gron.
(How do you make a Swede's brain look like a pea?
Blow it up and paint it green.)
En mann ble funnet i Stockholm, dod, med 15 pistolkuller og 20
knivstikk i seg. Politimannen som fant ham sa at det var det verste
tilfelle av selvmord han hadde sett.
(A man was found dead in Stockholm with 15 bullet holes and 20 stab
wounds. The policeman who found him said it was the worst case of
suicide he had ever come across.)
En svenske ble begravet i Norge. Kisten matte senkes og heves 9 ganger
for applausen gav seg.
(A Swede was buried in Norway. The coffin had to be raised and
lowered 9 times before the applause died away.)
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