From a colleague's friend in Boston...
Dear Diary,
Aug 12: Moved to our new home in Massachusetts, it is beautiful here.
The mountains are so majestic. Can hardly wait to see the snow
covering them.
Oct 14: Massachusetts is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves
have turned all colors and shades of red and orange.
Nov 11: Deer season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to
kill such a gorgeous creature. Hope it will snow soon. I love it here.
Dec 2: It snowed last night. Woke to find everything blanketed with
white. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleaned the snow
off the steps and shovelled the driveway. We had a snow-ball fight,
and when the snowplow went by we had to shovel the driveway again.
What a beautiful place. I love Massachusetts.
Dec 12: More snow last night. I love it. The snowplow did his old
trick again to the driveway. I love it here.
Dec 18: More snow last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to get
to work. I am exhausted from shovelling. Fucking snowplow.
Dec 22: More of that white shit fell last night. I've got blisters on
my hands from shovelling. I think the snowplow hides around the curve
and waits until I'm done shovelling the driveway. Asshole.
Dec 25: Merry fucking Christmas. More friggin' snow. If I ever get my
hands on that son-of-a-bitch who drives the snowplow, I sear I'll
kill the bastard. Don't know why they don't use more salt on the roads
to melt the fucking snow.
Dec 27: More white shit last night. Been inside for three days except
for shovelling out the driveway. Afterwards, the snowplow goes
through, every time. Can't go anywhere, car stuck in the mountain of
white shit. The weatherman says to expect another 10" of the shit
again tonight.
Dec 28: The fucking weatherman was wrong, we got 24" of the white shit
this time. At this rate it won't melt before the summer. The snowplow
got stuck and the bastard came to the door and asked to borrow my
shovel. After I told him I had broken six shovels already, shovelling
all the shit he pushed into my driveway, I broke my last one over his
fucking head.
Jan 4: Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get
food and on the way back a damned deer ran in the front of the car and
I hit it. Did about $3000 damage to the car. These fucking beasts
should be killed. Wish the hunters killed them all last November.
May 3: Took the car to the garage in town. Would you believe the
thing is rusting out from all that fucking salt they put on the roads.
May 10: Moved to Georgia. I can't imagine why anyone in their right
mind would ever live in that God forsaken State of Massachusetts.
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