In May 1997, at the University of Washington, the Momentum, Heat, and
Mass Transfer II final exam question was: "Is Hell exothermic or
endothermic? Support your answer with a proof."
[Note: Dr. Schlambaugh is known for asking questions on his finals
like: "Why do airplanes fly?"]
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
or some variant thereof. One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we postulate that if souls exist, they must have some mass. If
they do, then a mole of souls also must have a mass. So, at what rate
are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think
we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it does not leave.
Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering Hell, let's
look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some
religions say that if you are not a member of that religion, you will
go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions, and
people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that
all people and all souls go to Hell. With the birth and death rates
what they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase
exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change in the volume of
Hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and
pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of the souls
and volume needs to stay constant.
A1. So, if Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will
increase until all Hell breaks loose.
A2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase
in souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop
until Hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Theresa
Banyan during my freshman year, that "It'll be a cold day in Hell
before I sleep with you," and taking into account that I still have
not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then A2 cannot be
true, thus, Hell is exothermic.
The student, Tim Graham, got the only A.
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