Crap Jokes: Truth Stranger Than Fiction: Newspapers and Magazines: News From Around the World


Someone broke into a day care centre in Fredrikstad, Norway, and only
took one thing: a box of caramels that the children were going to
share with each other.

The kids were none too happy. "I hope the thieves get cavities,"
griped one 4-year-old... "And have to stand in the corner for a whole
hour."


The longest journey completed with the hand brake on, was one of 313 miles from Stranraer to Hollyhead, by Dr. Julie Thorn, at the wheel of a Saab 900 on 2nd April 1987. Dr. Thorn smelled burning two miles into her journey at Aird, but pressed on to Hollyhead with smoke billowing from the rear wheels. This journey also holds the records for the longest completed with the choke fully out and the right indicator flashing.
A Department of Agriculture investigation found in December last year that food stamps had fraudulently been used to purchase, among other things, a funeral, 32 ounces of the illegal drug PCP, prostitution services and in a New Mexico transaction, two surface-to-air missiles.
Taken from the Warwick Boar, the Warwick University Student Newspaper: "While attending a weekly aerobics class, one female student astonished the other exercisers by continuing to exercise even after the music had stopped and the others were getting changed. It seems that her extremely tight leotard had inadvertently brought her to an orgasm and she was trying hard for a second!"
South African Airways has announced it is asking police to charge two of its passengers with public indecency. A couple on a flight from London to Johannesburg wasn't concerned with who saw that they were doing, the airline claims. "It was the most callous display of lust I have ever seen," said one passenger. "I could understand it if they covered themselves with a blanket, but no: it was wham, bam, right there in the seat, in the missionary position," the passenger's husband confirmed. The couple only stopped when the captain stepped into the passenger cabin and told them that his aeroplane was "not a shag house."
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