This comprises of : 1 sausage 1 bacon 1 egg 1 toast 1 bean (not beans!) 

Extras         Isle 47, the rest of food please

                        oh and 2 pots of tea at 75p each

The Order: 0/10

No problem....

Q : Can I swap my bacon for an extra sausage and I'll get some hash browns and extra toast please

A : You shall die before I let you change the menu, you white piece of crap.

Q : Sorry ?

A : I said "It's only the items on the menu, you can't swap them"

Ok then.

The Review  3/10

As you may expect parking was no problem, after all Tesco's can handle hundreds of cars.  We entered through the main doors and did a sharp left to the cafe within.  Seats and tables where everywhere and it seemed to be quite full.  Although seats where still available.

We grabbed our tray and made our way to the counter. I'll have a £1.99'er please.  As above she then almost pulled out a sawn off shotgun at the very idea of swapping one or any of the items around.  Feel the wraith of a pissed off 40 year old lady who must get asked this on every order, yet still says no ?  If she tried saying "YES" she would more than likely be a lot happier.  

It looks like I'll have to buy the extra's.  "I'll also buy 2 hash browns, extra toast and an extra sausage then please!" This confused her.  I had managed to get around her swapping rule and she knew it.  She dished out the food with a happy manner, worthy of a man on death row.  Like me, she probably knew that the old lady at the till wasn't likely to care about extras and still charge me £1.99.

I got to the island, that was the place to get your tea or coffee from, grabbed a pot with a tea bag in, added some hot water and placed it on my tray, next to the small cup and saucer I'd gotten to.  I approached the little old lady behind the till was nice and friendly to her and got the breakfast at £1.99, the art of distraction.  

Tesco's had the last laugh, charging 75p for the tea.

We grabbed our knife's and fork's, along with 17 sachets of tomato sauce, and we made our way to an empty table.  We sat and ate our meals.  Nothing to write home about.  The food just wasn't that tasty.  It, combined with the devil horn witch that had served it, had no desire to be eaten.   All the food is kept on hot plate's, apart from the toast which they make on order.  This adds a couple of minutes to your watching the steam less breakfast set.

We ate it all and as we poured our cup's of expensive tea, most of which managed to make it on the table than into the cup, we pondered the delights of what lay in isle 47. Hmmmmmmmmm. 

The tip : The "I will no deviate from the menu" and attitude it came with certainly made the crappy food I got seem ok. They could be a little more giving.

Full Factor 4/10 I was aware of have'n eaten, maybe I'll check isle 47 out after all.

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