This is one I let myself in for at Growth Group, and I am still not sure how.
I am very concerned that young Christians tend to get a less than balanced view of the gifts of the Spirit, and our young Christians in our group seemed to be a bit confused.
The premise I started from was that all gifts are useless without Agape love. They are to Glorify GOD not ourselves!(The scripture I used was 1 Corinthians 13, and I used part of the worksheet for Valentine's Day). After reading about the more excellent way, we went back to the lists of gifts in 1 Corinthians 12, and Romans 12.
The version of the Bible I was using was actually "The Message", mainly because I wanted to be sure that some of the group understood. The gifts we identified and enumerated were: From 1 Cor 12


Later in the chapter, we find the ministries in which these gifts are to be used


From Romans 12, there are the following:


One question I asked, and one which you might like to consider is if there are any gifts you would not desire, and if there were any that you would, as Paul says " strongly desire".
I think a lot of the gifts, and ministries, as listed are fairly straightforward, but below is a summary of where we felt the problems lie.
It is important to distinguish between natural talents, which can, and should be used for God's service, and Spiritual Gifts, which may, or may not relate to natural talents, and are given by God, for use to His Glory.
I, personally, have been taught that there is a gift of "healings" i.e. any Christian can be given this gift to use in any given situation. Although this is a supernatural gift, it is one that should not be abused, and all too often, people who have not been healed, (because God has not chosen in His Sovereign Will, not to heal them), are made to feel that it is somehow their fault, that they have not had enough faith. This is simply not true, and is "causing little ones to stumble", which we are expressly warned against in Matthew.
The next one we considered was "distinguishing between spirits", or "discernment of spirits". We were not too sure that this meant actually being able to "see" spiritual beings. We felt it was more to do with recognising spiritual forces, and testing them as we are required to do. (See 1 John 4 v.1) Also being aware when a fellow Christian is being influenced by spirits, other than The Holy Spirit.
Tongues is really contentious, but whilst I believe that the gift of tongues, at least for personal praise , is given to those who "earnestly desire it", it is not an automatic gift, nor always a sign that some one is filled with the Spirit.Again, teachings like this, based on some scriptural incidents have caused untold damage to young Christians.
It is also important to distinguish between tongues used for personal praise,and the speaking in other languages that is so graphically described in Acts . This latter is obviously a way God can use to reach people, and there are many documented instances of this.
Regarding the former, Paul, in ! cor 14, makes it quite clear that this gift is best used fro private devotions, and without interpretation,should not be used in public worship. When this happens, The Spirit will provide someone with an interpretation, and the question of whether anyone can interpret should not need to be asked.
This may be another gift which is given for specific occasions.

Now to the second list in Corinthians.
What is clear, is that the foundational gifts of apostleship, preaching, and teaching are essential for any fellowship. They must be there, if there are no others. That is the sense in which they come first, but it is wrong to belittle people who do not have these giftings, or to say that they are limited to men. God will use whom He chooses to further His work!
Paul does encourage people to desire the greater gifts, but these can be exercised in Youth work, Sunday School, Mums groups, and many other smaller ways than in relation to the whole fellowship on a Sunday.

I'm not too sure that these are necessarily natural gifts. We have a God of infinite variety, and it seems to me that He may very well challenge us to serve Him in the spiritual realm with gifts we do not possess in the natural. That is not to say we should not use our natural talents for Our Lord's service, but we should not limit Him, or ourselves to those.

In all these instances, Paul is VERY careful to warn against misuse of gifts. They are given by god for His Glory ONLY. Any other use is wrong, and asking for trouble.

In Corinthians, the gifts are listed BEFORE the passage on Love,and the warnings follow after.Let's remember that love is the only gift that is also listed as a fruit in Galatians 5.v.22

If the gifts are being used properly, then there will be fruit, and if there is no fruit, what is the point of the gifts?

I will reiterate. The most important gift is LOVE. We are commanded :"Love one another as I have loved you"There are many. many scriptures on this theme:

There is a difference between gifts and ministries.Worship and intercession are ministries, rather than gifts.

I personally have grave doubts about "tears" or "confrontation" which I have heard cited as gifts.They may, or may not be actions inspired by The Holy Spirit, but that does not make them gifts.

Gifts are given by The Holy Spirit. In Christ, the gifts are gifted to the church, but the working of Spiritual Gifts is controlled by The Father.

The sign gifts, (Tongues and interpretation, prophecy) are so often causes of contention within the Church. Why?

I personally do not subscribe to the view that the sign gifts, (or any of the gifts, come to that), were only given to the early church until the whole canon of scripture was written.Probably, two thousand years on, we need signs more than the early believers, who had probably met those who had known Jesus whilst He was on earth, and witnessed His ministry.

I do, however, believe that we should "Test the spirits"(1 John 4.v.1), and point out error.

At the end of the day, the Gifts are given to help believers, not to divide them! The Holy Spirit CANNOT work where there is division, BUT churches should not force use of the gifts on their congregations. We need to be sensitive to where people are, and to what is appropriate.