Personality;
Unique and to keep it up you develop idiosyncrasies. In doing so you might be a little eccentric. You believe in equal rights.
Can be defiant and rebellious in decisions and actions and therefore also inconsistent and disruptive.
You can absorb info well, insightful, maybe a genius, maybe not. If so can be bad tempered if ignored.
You like to change things rather than having to change so things are tense and difficult.
Tend to deal with labour saving devices. You aren't that emotional, but you are political and humanitarian.
You like unusual subjects and especially to surpise others.
Colours; blue and purple. Compatible with; Gemini, Libra, Sagittarius and Aries.
Future;
"Unusual"..means you like things that come under the initials S and M, in that order. "Eccentric"... is just another way of saying you're a wacko, you're insane, you're mentally unbalanced, and part of your paedophilic perverted tendencies means that you get to be a rich sod who hides your dark side with respectable looking vehicles while kerb crawling just before the sun comes out...the cheek of it all!!!
Aries
Personality;
As a fire sign you are enthusiastic, you like to take the initiative. In doing so you are thereby; assertive, strong willed and passionate.
This is expected as you are also quite hot tempered and impatient, when things don't go your way.
But your way is definitely independent, and strong.
Being warm hearted you can make friends easily with more or less anyone.
Colours; Red. Metal; Iron. Compatible with; Geminis, Librans, Aquarians, Leos and Cancerians.
Future;
Hot tempered ! If you're male this means you'll become a militant general, just so you can act out your rage in military antics to suit red light areas; If you're a woman, you quite possibly might become what Ali G calls a "Feminist". For both sexes in the next life for your crimes you'll spend it being a highly intelligent, but highly mute and poached dolphin (This is a pic of panicking seafood, NOT tranquility);
Cancer
Personality;
You are sensitive and like to mother peeps. With your mothers intuition you can sense tension, but rather unmotherly you can't tell why and can be moody.
In touch with your feminity (male/female), you are imaginative. You can express your feelings well.
Being sentimental you like collecting stuff with history or even just stamps. You take loads of pictures as momentoes. You are definitely family orientated and dependent on roots
Your friends last forever, and can be an ok leader.
Colour; silver. Metal; silver. Gem; pearl. Compatible with; Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn, Scorpio and Pisces.
Future;
Were you a Mummy's boy/girl or something ?Well your aim to fit into their mould is gonna show later on in life whatever you do. The future looks bleak, but here's a snapshot of you in your happy childhood times. Oops, actually its of you now...
Capricorn
Personality;
You have a strong sense of duty and responsibility. You can therefore be cautious.
Family values are very important and the above means that you are mature.
Another word for someone who seeks security, is predictable, and doesn't waste time or anything else for that matter.
A sense of tradition and structure means you like formal social occasions. Things run perfectly for you, cos you are a workaholic.
You're pragmatism means you look for the probs of anything beforehand. Though you do long term commitments in romance and work.
Being self-reliant and capable means you can be lonely which hurts your ego.
Colour; grey. Metal;lead. Compatible with; Taurus, Virgo, Aries, Cancer and Libra
Future;
Warning ! Do something before you get just like this....
..see Funky Chick page for a small remedy.
Gemini
Personality;
You thrive on mental stimulation and this allows you to see all aspects of a situation.
You are sociable so much so that you can't deal with silence.
You are inquisitive and enjoy sharing information, which means that you have to be sure that you're right before doing so.
Sharing info through words which you love, means you can write, but you also like to travel..another Bill Bryson ?
Colour; yellow. Metal; quicksilver. Compatible with; Libra, Aquarius, Aries, Leo and Sagittarius
Future; You and your partner, (whoever that may be) will end up travelling long distances. You are gonna be nomadic, gypsy-like, or as Guy Ritchie indiscriminately called them in Snatch 'Pikey-like'.
You'll then try and write bestselling travel guides in the likes of the Rough Guide and Lonely Planet people, who will then sue your ..... ass for breaches of copyright. Poverty beckons, but first enjoy long quarrel filled road trips with whom you stupidly mistake for 'The One'.
Leo
Personality;
You are enthusiastic, friendly and warm.
Creativity comes easily to you and you are therefore, dramatic and fun.
You can be generous with pressies and your time.
Like most people you do need occasional praise, but you hold yourself with dignity.Though this means that you do seem pompous sometimes.
Your often influential status creates a desire to be recognized as important. Can be good leaders, but can't take criticism,
You are romantic, making grand gestures on a small budget. You are loyal and leave an impact wherever you go. You are hurt if you are left out.
Colour; gold. Metal; gold. Compatible with; Gemini, Libra, Sagittarius and Cancer
Future;You'll spend your last pennies on getting this dream gift for a loved one, they'll hate it, kick you out and you'll be homeless for ten years before you find in a disposed disposable
nappy, (well, you thought there'd still be something nutritious inside), the winning lottery ticket for that week, you buy back your life, your wife and this car. Then die as Noddy runs over your glorified penis extension.
For females, this is all true up until the part where you buy the dream gift, cos of course they love it and you live happily ever after. Amen.
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Libra
Personality;
You always seek harmony and balance. And therefore are always interested in others opinions and ideas.
Your aim of perfect cooperation leads others to compromise. You aim for fair decsions and will avoid upsetting those you love.
You value beauty, grace, manners and diplomacy; appearance is the most important thing.
Being sociable, rarely rude and peaceful you can make a good leader. You are logical and use rational thought to solve problems.
You are romantic, and having a partner in any aspect of life is vital to your being.
You enjoy competition but not the taking part.
Colour; Pastels: blue. Gem; Opal. Metal; Copper. Compatible with; Gemini, Aquarius, Aries, Leo and Sagittarius
Future; Old Man Time and the Man in the Moon.... are both good cosy pubs, after all of this diplomacy, you'll be so worn out being nice, your kids'll find you here, or Slumberland.
All of this sitting on the fence razzmatazz means that one day you'll either be pushed off and break into a trillion pieces like Humpty Dumpty or your ass will develop piles. You choose your destiny.
Pisces
Personality;
You are intuitive and are very sensitive, even psychic.
You are super efficient, perfect even. You do this to protect yourself from doing too much for others.
You DO aim to please and bring magic to peoples lives. You can work miracles and can see what others don't.
You enjoy telling myths and parables and indulge in fantasy. You are romantic.
You can absorb yourself in fluid movement like swimming or creative dancing.
You can be manipulated and usually work for less to please peeps even sacrifice yourself for others.
Colours;Blue, lavender or silver; Compatible with; Capricorns and Taureans, but can fit in with nearly all signs.
Future;You will become a nurse, carer by day, wild exotic lap dancer by night. You'll be rolling in the extra cash, but the pleasure you've brought to everyone means that a statue will be made of you and put right next to Eros in Piccadilly, they then give him an appropriately larger erection. Both roles fulfill your desire to please
people, the latter being of a more 'fluid' movement than you would ever know...
Sagittarius
Personality;
You are enthusiastic, friendly and warm.
You are generous with info and pressies.
You are adaptable, fascinated by society and history, archaelogy, languages and philosophy.
You are fair in judgement like Libras but need justice to be acted upon.
You are therefore idealistic and have high expectations,
You are a traveller, being naturally independent, properous and successful. Because your word is true.
Your morals are important, you are chivalrous, and you like or even are like thunderbolts.
Colours; purple, gold and red. Compatible with; Aries, Leo, Librans and Aquarians.
Future;
Success means that you'll pay a high price. You will forever mourn for your lost days of youth, an idealist, a dreamer, someone who was gonna change the world. But you thought wrong, cos you went from a carefree typical student hippy to the late night office insomniac which we all dread to become but, of course will succumb to sooner or later.
Vs.
Scorpio
Personality;
You resist change and are therefore stubborn. It takes you time to develop trust and commit to things and people.
You are highly sensitive which means any change might distress you.
You have a high level of concentration. You would make a great researcher.
You are charming, safe and trusted. As confidantes you will only reveal info if its beneficial to others.
You're the type to recycle as you don't like waste.
You are able to create mystique and are sexy.
Your empathy with those in pain means you can cut thru any surface to get to the source of the problem, mental or physical. You could also be a shrink or a surgeon.
You are unafraid of emotion or devastation as you view it as just a problem to be solved.
Your sense of humour is sometimes cruel, satire is your thang,
Colour;black. Gem; Tigers eye.
Future;
Of course you is gonna be a scientist or something where you'll spend your life with the rats that you test out your "medicine" on.
Mixing chemicals is a smart route, but don't forget that a degree in botany is necessary to grow sufficient amounts of ganja to justify your "experiments".
Don't fall into the trap, grow them in Cuba, like every other self=respecting dealer, your garden in Leeds next to Bob the PC ain't what you'd call beneficial to others...
Taurus
Personality;
You are definitely the metaphorical Bull in a china shop. You are slow to anger, but extremely dangerous and damaging when angered.
You are loyal to carefully chosen friends. You are slow, but decisive with your actions.
You are the best sign. You're romantic, good with money, you like food, wine and can be a good craftsman.
You can be territorial. You are cultured and you enjoy beauty and the finer things in life.
Color; sea green. Gem; Emerald. Flower; Lily of the Valley. Metal; Copper. Compatible with; Virgo, Capricorn, Scorpio and Pisces.
Future;
The finer things in life mean that you'll be spending your life in class, no matter how little or how much money you have, you will be broke at times, but by the time of your
retirement you will have enough put by to really let your hair loose and your teeth out to ride one of these sexy things... Yeah babyyyy!!(Three guesses as to what sign I am.)
Virgo
Personality;
You are practical and realistic. You are versatile and capable of doing various tasks simultaneously.
You are driven to get it right and get impatient when you're hindered by others.
You are aware of all possibilities and approaches to all tasks. This makes you try to find the perfect solution.
You enjoy physical and mental movement. You are good at filing data which is in safe hands.
You usually serve others. You notice flaws and chaos. You then try to organise it and never ignore detail.
You are unhappy when things don't go to plan. You like to go for regular health checks as part of your way of keeping EVERYTHING reliable and prepared.
You enjoy professionals and are intolerant of the lazy. You in contrast like to be busy and rush around.
Color; Lilac, Lavendar. Compatible with; Taurus, Capricorns, Cancer and Scorpio.
Future;
You were in a past life a pirate, or something adventurous, wild and faintly rebellious. For your crimes you are now a Virgo, but for the crime of being a Virgo when the Earth does turn into Kevin Costners(who?) Waterworld, you will become a pirate once more..
I know it's a vicious circle. But hey ! Oooo arrr Matey !!!
The author is not to be held responsible for any misinterpretation or action taken of a page which really, like all other "astrological" pages should not be taken literally...
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