Bear In The Air

A man was recently flying to New York. He decided to strike up a conversation with his seat mate.

"I've got a great policeman joke. Would you like to hear it?"

"I should let you know first that I am a policeman."

"That's OK. I'll tell it really slow!"

Ten Things To Say When A Cop Pulls You Over

10. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
9. Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this 44 magnum.
8. You must have been doing 125 to keep up with me.....good job.
7. Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
6. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
5. Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriends night stand.
4. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer.
3. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
2. Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?
1. I was just trying to keep up with traffic!

The Milkman

Little Johnny is passing his parents' bedroom in the middle of the night, in search of a glass of water.

Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he peeks in and catches his folks in The Act.

Before dad can even react, Little Johnny exclaims,
"Oh, boy! Horsy ride! Daddy, can I ride on your back?"

Daddy, relieved that Johnny's not asking more uncomfortable questions, and seeing the opportunity not to break his stride, agrees.

Johnny hops on and daddy starts going to town. Pretty soon mommy starts moaning and gasping.

Johnny cries out,
"Hang on tight, Daddy! This is the part where me and the milkman usually get bucked off!"

The Jokery: 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12